I Will Never Have a Baby

Every time I try to do something that others might label as stupid or reckless my souvenir/injury always ends up on my stomach. This last summer I jumped off the abandoned portion of the 520 bridge, as it has become somewhat of a tradition over the past few years. This time I decided to be especially intelligent and decided it would be a great idea to hold hands with my friend as we jumped off a highway bridge, and surprise surprise it didn't end too well..I ended up entering the water belly-first and 2 days later had a beautiful abstract art piece on my stomach, full of purples and blues. A few days ago i slid down the steepest hill in seattle, freshly catapulted from my tiny sled. My giant ski coat decided to slide up this time out of all and my stomach met ice. Yeah, it hurt.